Friday, 14 April 2017

The Difference Between Bullying and Poor Taste

You would think there'd be nothing to hate about this team.
Oh boy.

This month saw the release of Marvel's new RessurXion (is that spelt right? I mean, it's not exactly a word, but...). With it, came X-Men Gold #1, a new team starring favourites like Colossus and Old Man Logan. The issue, to be honest, is quite good- we get a X-Men team that feels more like the well-received Astonishing X-Men than it does Uncanny X-Men.

Sounds great? So what's the issue?

The offending panel
Well, it turns out the issue's writer, Ardian Sayaf, brought in a few too many personal politics. See, X-Men Gold #1 he included a reference to a verse in the Qur'an that, according to some translations, forbids believers from making Jews and Christians their leaders.
Sayaf is Indonesian and right now, the Christian governor (or former governer, not sure), a man known as Ahok, was tried for blasphemy for a misstated comment on the Qur'an. Ahok's comments enraged the Indonesia's 85% Muslim population. Sayaf was obviously upset about this as well, because in

My first thought when seeing this was "how did anyone know to notice the verse here?"  My second thought was "this is possibly the worst comic to include this in."

See, X-Men Gold features a team lead by Kitty Pride; a Jewish woman who has been nothing but upfront about her heritage for many, many years. Let me make  it clear; she is the team leader in a book where the art suggests that people like her should not be leaders. For that reason, and that reason alone, Sayaf should be pretty embarrassed about his artistic faux pas.

In all likelihood, the verse was intended to criticise Ahok, suggesting that Christian was not the best choice for a Muslim nation, and if Sayaf had tweeted the verse with a #Ahok at the end, I 'm certain he would not have faced the same backlash (although, really, if you get political on the internet, don't expect people to leave you alone). The message would have been clear: Ahok should not be, or should never have been Jakarta's governor. In the context of the comic, however, it came off as "I resent contributing to a book about Jewish people". Before anyone jumps down my throat and tells me that I'm making assumptions; I know I am. That's part of what reading entails. But I don't imagine myself to be some great genius and if I'm a total idiot, then I'm hardly alone. If I can take that message out of the book, chances are a few others have as well.

She's Jewish. The verse was a bad idea.
In a past article, I spoke about Marvel's habit of bullying some of their readers into accepting a new status quo or ideology. I don't think that's what is happening here. Bullying has to be targeted and continuous. Someone calling you stupid once is not, for example, bullying. Someone calling stupid over an extended period is. This is the first, and likely the last time Marvel has done something like this. Moreover, Marvel's bullying tactics came from strawmanning an ideology that undesirable, but harmless, into something villainous and idiotic. It was something they did not once, but over and over again and it was certainly more overt than this. It was also unconnected to recent events, but more to a particular "out-group". Sayaf's art bears just about no similarity.

It was, however, in incredibly poor taste; not just because the issue's lead was Jewish, but because recent events (though sparked by the west) have likely put a lot of people who don't know better on edge regarding Islam; well, more so than they were before. The verse could be interpreted as inflammatory; particularly towards a predominately Judeo-Christian country like America.

This poor timing, poor taste and poor use of two letters, three numbers and a colon reflect poorly on Marvel. I feel sorry for him; his intended message seemed a lot more tame than media attention would make it seem. It was a dumb mistake and once he's felt the expected amount of embarrassment, I hope he continues to draw for the comics industry because honestly, his art is good. Marvel have since dismissed him. I think that was the wrong move for a silly mistake that editors should have picked up on. Lets just say that, with the kerfuffles of the last month, my opinion of Marvel as a business is fairly low.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

Diversity isn't killing Marvel- bullying is.

All-New insults, All-Different standards

In a recent interview with ICv2, Marvel's Senior Vice President, David Gabriel, addressed the massive slide in company sales. And to be honest, he really had to. As of the most recent figures in February this year, Marvel only had two books in the top ten comics. Both of them were Star Wars books. To find a Marvel superhero book, you need to get to number 13, where Spider-Man #24 sits. By contrast, DC takes seven of those top ten spots.

So why are Marvel so far behind? It's not like the company's presence isn't felt everywhere you look. Marvel characters are more popular than they've ever been. Regardless, Gabriel's answer has left many unsatisfied, to say the least. According to;

Essentially Gabriel said that, according to retailers he talked to and sales data, Marvel's push towards diversity was the reason for the sales drop. "What we heard was that people didn't want any more diversity. They didn't want female characters out there. That's what we heard, whether we believe that or not. I don't know that that's really true, but that's what we saw in sales." Gabriel later elaborated on those comments in an interview with ICv2. There he said, "We saw the sales of any character that was diverse, any character that was new, our female characters, anything that was not a core Marvel character, people were turning their nose up against. That was difficult for us because we had a lot of fresh, new, exciting ideas that we were trying to get out and nothing new really worked."

Now, the IGN article in the link above goes on to say that it isn't diversity that is hurting Marvel's bottom line, but bad business practices; namely, putting out 5USD per issue for series' that have absolutely zero traction (see Red Wolf- what? You forgot who that was? Exactly!). That's a fair point, but Marvel have been pricing themselves out of the market for months before trying the Red Wolf Schtick. Others have pointed to event fatigue, but that's a pretty old chestnut for Marvel and again, it never hurt them before.

I suggest that Marvel's problem is on a creative level, not a business one. No, I'm not saying that making characters diverse is the problem. DC have plenty of books featuring people of colour, women and LGBT+. The problem is more perverse than that.

It's bullying.

Let me demonstrate. In the early stages of the Mighty Thor, we saw this moment:

And here I am, at the height of "punch a Nazi", posting this.
I must have a death wish.

To some, this was where Marvel  made it very clear that having unfavourable opinions on feminism was worse than an actual, literal felony. I'll admit, I was on board for the new Thor until this happened. Once it did, I wasn't so sure. I have no problem with feminism (though I find it unsettling that the face of pop culture feminism is Anita Sarkeesian- it really should be Liana Kerzner), but this felt mean-spirited and petty. Like it was the author acting out their own fantasies and shaming people who felt uncomfortable with what passed for Feminism in pop-culture.

Last year, we got this from All-New Captain America;
Quick, put them in shadows or we won't know they're evil!

 In case you're not sure, that's the Serpent Society in the background, who have now become anti-immigrant. You can be sure, though, that Sam Wilson dispatched them with extreme prejudice. Again, I am actually pro-immigration (I am Australian, however, and immigration here looks different to what it does on the US border), but even I could see the unfair strawmanning of an opinion that the writer clearly didn't like.

And least you assume that I'm saying that comics need to "be more conservative", this moment from Captain America: Sam Wilson was equally concerning:

Someone actually wrote this as dialogue... and an editor approved it.
On the other hand, it means you can probably achieve anything!
And these panels are only a small sample of some of the more talked-about moments in Marvel comics.

As I said, the problem isn't that Marvel leans left- they and nearly every mass media company in the world has done so for the last fifty-or-so years to relatively little blowback. The problem is that the writers have been given license to routinely mock others and then be praised for doing so. I'm a teacher in a high school as my day job, so I find  myself dealing with reports of bullying from students. For something to be considered bullying, it has to be regular and targeted. Sadly, Marvel seem to be meeting both criteria.

And before people start telling me "objectivity doesn't mean treating all opinions as valid"- let me make it very clear that I'm not saying that it does. What I am saying, very loudly, is that it also doesn't mean giving page space to mocking those ideas. The opinion being put forth by these writers- at least, the one common theme amongst the above examples- is "people I don't like deserve relentless ridicule" followed, according to Marvel, by "and I expect those people to pay me to do so".

Says who?

In my job, we also teach students who are being bullied to leave the situation; that getting away is far better than being violent. How does this relate? Well, readers have been leaving Marvel. And why shouldn't they? Why should readers stay for material that makes them feel like dirt. That's not why we read superhero comics?

I miss these two so much!
So the next question becomes one of alternatives. How do we put forth a political opinion without putting down the other side? Well, there's no simple answer to that and I think pop culture, if they give a damn about their audience, will always struggle with finding the balance and nuance needed to communicate these ideas in a world were 140-word tweets make international headlines. That said, one good example to look at in Christopher Yost's Scarlet Spider. The Kain Parker-lead Spider-Man spinoff was deeply involved with the complexities of the immigration argument. It was unafraid to deal with the risks these immigrants took to care for their families, the challenges faced by illegal immigrants and the horrible situations from which many of them run. But it did so by highlighting those issues- not by making Kain put a stinger through the eye of every white person he ran into. The
X-Men, traditionally, have also been a great way to showcase the struggles of minorities to those who, without the assistance of the superhero genre, have found it hard to sympathise otherwise.

Please note; I have only mentioned Marvel books in the above paragraphs because in the past, Marvel have been excellent at dealing with a range of social issues. Hopefully, the books I've mentioned above are proof that they can be again.

Most comic fans are familiar with Stan Lee's slogan; "Excelsior!" The word is Latin. It means "ever upward". If that's truly the direction in which Marvel wish to travel, they have no space to stoop to lower levels.

Monday, 13 February 2017

Moon Knight Volume 2: Dead Will Rise (Marvel NOW!) Review

How many faces do you think we can fit on
one cover?
Writer: Brian Wood
Artist: Greg Smallwood
Collects: Moon Knight #7-12

Background info:

Marc Spector was shot in front of a statue of the ancient Egyptian god, Khonshu. When he awoke, he had within him the spirit of Khonshu, the charge to become a guardian to all night travellers as Moon Knight and a case of dissociative  identity disorder (henceforth DID, which is a lame acronym). Throughout the years, his DID has manifested itself in different ways. At one point, he thought he was Wolverine, Spider-Man and Captain America. In the previous volume of this run, his personalities have manifested themselves as the vengeful Moon Knight, the more sophisticated Mr. Knight, and Khonshu himself (at least, that's how it appears).

Review (spoilers ahead):

No, this is really a comic
One of the main advantages to Moon Knight's previous volume, From the Dead, was the book's Dead Will Rise, this formula is done away with in favour of a six-issue story arc, and it weirdly comes off as just a good.
structure of multiple stand-alone stories. It was great to see a book that was focussed on telling great stories within the 18-pages of a single issue- something that hasn't really been seen much since the golden age of comics. In

When the ruler of an African country comes to New York, Wahalla, Marc's psychiatrist, sends an assassin to kill him. Marc now must match wits with her not only to save the leader's life, but to keep the spirit of Khonshu. What happens in these pages is the best character development seen in this iteration of Moon Knight.

Brian Wood has taken writing duties over from Colin Bunn, and it's clear that he's built significantly on that solid foundation. Nowhere is this more clear than the relation between Marc and Khonshu. Where the previous volume saw Khonshu standing over an otherwise obedient Marc we start to see real conflict between the two. What is especially interesting is the implication the Marc might not be best choice for Khonshu's powers. Nonetheless, it seems Marc needs the Moon Knight personally.

Just as good, though, is Wahalla's development. She's given a reason for wanting to kill the leader, but Wood goes deeper; giving multiple layers to her hatred. Make no mistake, the good doctor is far from virtuous and credit goes to Wood for resisting the urge to make her a sympathetic villain. When you discover her real reasons for wanting the leader dead, you're well and truly ready for her to be punished by Moon Knight.

So, Moon Knight is a villain, too.
The art has also shifted duties, with Greg Smallwood taking over from now until Secret Wars. Smallwood continues the series style that remains iconic even after the relaunch. The pure, uncoloured white of Moon Knight's costume stands starkly against the darker colours of the backgrounds and supporting cast.

My only problem with Dead Will Rise is that it seems to end WAY too abruptly. I would love to see how this event changes Marc's life and his relationship with Khonshu, but the final issue in this volume doesn't give any hints to it.

Overall, though, this is a strong start for the new Moon Knight team, which earns it four and a half out of five lame acronyms.

Yeah, I DID that...

Okay, a lame pun, too.

**** 1/2

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Batman Vol. 6: Graveyard Shift (The New 52) Review

Batman Vol.5: Graveyard Shift (The New 52)

Do you get the feeling that anything in
Gotham remotely bat-shaped
belongs to Batman? I mean, that ain't
the symbol on his chest...
Writer: Scott Snyder
Artist: Greg Capullo
Collects: Issues 0,18-20, 24, 34, Annual #2

Background information:

I'm back!

Scott Snyder's Batman has been killing it!

Yes, yes, I know,  Snyder's mono-named title is no more, and but for All-Star Batman, his work with the character has reached a permanent end, but there's something to his writing that makes me feel like this is the only Batman book I need to read. Snyder has shown us Gotham as a character in Batman's world with as much autonomy as any person living in it. He's been deliciously creepy and has dived head-first into the psychological depth that has given Batman his reputation amongst comic readers.

In the past, Batman trades by Snyder have focussed on one singular story. Because of this, it's easy to trick yourself into thinking that Snyder writes no fillers at all. More on that below.


No writer can avoid filler issues completely.  Like death and taxes, one day you'll have to write a story just to meet an editorial deadline and Batman had it's share

I mean, this has no bats, but there's no Batman yet, so...
So now we have Graveyard Shift the sixth volume in the Batman run that has ended world hunger,
eliminated world debt cured cancer and made sure we NEVER have another Shrek movie.

And oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Okay, I'm making it seem worse than it actually is. Graveyard Shift is a collection of issues that apparently didn't fit anywhere else (except for issue #0, which TOTALLY should have been in the first Zero Year trade). As such, there is just about no plot to speak of. Harper Row auditions for the Bat-family, Batman busts up Catwoman's mob house, Arkham Asylum gets haunted and Clayface does usual Clayface stuff.

These are all single issue stories and none of them are bad per say, but Snyder has always made stories that cover 10-12 issues; the kind that need to be told in two trades (Court of Owls and City of Owls, the two Zero Year volumes, even Death of the Family seems ready to get its second part in Endgame). To have stories this short feels like a waste of Snyder's talents. Usually this wouldn't matter, were these issues peppered throughout the actual series. They might have even been entertaining departures from the norm. However, because this is all we get, there's this constant feeling that you're at a fancy restaurant being offered nothing but appetizers.

A far deeper problem, though is that each one of these issues takes place at drastically different times in Snyder's run. We go from Zero Year, to just after Damien's death, to the middle of Batman Eternal, to just before Endgame. Because of this, the whole book feels ungrounded and you get the feeling that there is absolutely no point in reading it.

But see this? Totally has a bat and Bruce is just like "I'll take
Which is a crying shame, because some of the easter eggs in this volume are excellent. Most notable is the appearance of the Batman Beyond suit complete with wings and rocket boots, but you also have to appreciate Snyder's clever use of foreshadowing. I won't spoil it, but  there's one issue here that feels like it's going to matter a lot to Endgame.

Greg Capullo's art continues to be as strong as ever here. To him, Batman's world is vibrant and colourful and that gives Snyder's dark stories the feeling that this is more of an alien world than Gothic-inspired city. You know you've done something right as an artist when, even when things are clearly visible, you still find yourself terrified of what might be around the corner.

If you're a completionist like me, Graveyard shift is going to be a fairly compulsive buy. Let's face it, there's no way you're skipping from Volume 5 to Volume 7! What kind of savage are you? That said, it's best to keep your expectations low. This one gets a two and a half out of five Shrek films.

** 1/2

Monday, 31 October 2016

Amazing X-Men Vol. 1: The Quest for Nightcrawler (Marvel NOW!) Review

Okay, fine- you've seen the coolest
image in the book already. HAPPY?!
Writer: Jason Aaron

Artist: Ed McGuinness

Collects: Amazing X-Men #1-6

Background Information:

There was a time when the X-Men fought baddies. Then a few different things happened. Magneto became a good guy, the X-Men split into the Uncanny X-Men and Wolverine's X-Men, and Cyclops found himself convinced that all humans were evil and that mutants had to be protected from them. Now the X-Men fight each other. For better or for worse, Marvel NOW! X-Men have been fighting each other. That's earned it some criticism

Oh, they've also brought the original X-Men into our time from the past.

That couldn't possibly go wrong, right?

You thought I was joking about the "literal hell" part, didn't you...

In many ways, Amazing X-Men feels like a return to form for those who have come to loathe the Amazing X-Men an exception rather than a rule.
current run of X-books; it features a classic team of mutants, has plenty of humour and, most importantly, is about X-Men fighting someone other than themselves. It's a pity then that Marvel have seemingly no interest in continuing this series into the current X-Men run, and that disinterest shows, making

The Quest For Nightcrawler finds the X-Men in literal hell- That's something only Jason Aaron could make light and fun. They've followed the Bamfs (not an acronym) through an unknown portal with new member Firestar and have been confronted with Azazel- the evil pirate demon-dad of Nightcrawler.

In case you're wondering, yes. This collection was written with no other purpose than to bring Nightcrawler back into the universe, and honestly, it's done fairly well. The fight between Nightcrawler's X-Men (yes; in this collection, that's what they are) and the demon pirates in as fun and bombastic as many remember comics always being. Nightcrawler's action scenes- particularly his fights with Azazel- are particularly epic; seeing him "bamf" around cutting down enemies is exciting and his dialogue feels fresh and witty.

The other characters, unfortunately, don't feel as fleshed out. Firestar (who I know I'm going to mess up and call Starfire at some point) seem's to be relegated to "straight man" to juxtapose Iceman's not-quite-as-funny-as-Aaron-wants them to be, and be shocked at the so-called craziness of everything. Northstar hates everyone and reminds us about why we haven't seen this character since his wedding a few years ago. Beast is FAR better handled in Bendis' X-books as Aaron dilutes his character to being a coffee addict. I could go on, but it bums me out that Marvel are giving us X-books that basically say "you can have well-developed characters or you can have storylines where things actually happen." No, Marvel; we want both!

Guys... don't mean to be a downer, but
Wolverine's in this book, too.
Thankfully, plenty does actually happen in The Quest for Nightcrawler, and for a moment, you're tempted to ignore the fact that none of the characters actually need to be there. This is a story that could just as easily be told with the Avengers or even the Fantastic Four! It's a book full of cool happenings, but nothing more substantial. Is it fun? Sure; and those lamenting the seriousness of contemporary comics will likely love it, but don't kid yourself: this is pretty shallow escapism.

The art here is vibrant and colourful and it makes you think of the 90s X-Men cartoons. I can't stress here just how much this book seems written for those who miss the old X-Men and every visual drives it home. It helps to drive home the fact that this is the "fun" book.

And ultimately, I'm glad it exists. I'm not always a fan of the "light and funny" mandate that seems to get god-status every time a piece of superhero media exists, but Amazing X-Men proves that there are still SO many ways to take the franchise. It's not the deepest mutant book- not by a long shot- but it's a fun, nostalgic read to be sure. It gets a three out of five Bamfs (again, not an acronym).


+ Nightcrawler is well done.
+ Vibrant and colourful art.
+ Fun tone with lots happening.
- Character progression nearly non-existant
- None of these characters feel important to the story.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

Batman Eternal Vol. 1 (The New 52) Review

"Hey buddy! Wanna buy a supporting
Writers: Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, John Layman, Ray Fawkes, Tim Seely and Kyle Higgins.

Artists: Y'know what? There's a lot- let's leave it at that.

Collects: Batman Eternal #1-21

Background Information:

Every now and again, DC will release a weekly series. If they have faith in it, that series will last 52 issues. If not, It will end around the 40-45 mark. By the time Batman Eternal was in full swing, DC were publishing no less than three of these series; the aforementioned Batman title, The New 52: Future's End and Earth 2: World's End. These were all billed as big deals for the DC universe, but only one series found people who actually cared about it. Guess which one it was?

...the Batman one. It was the Batman one.


There have been complaints aplenty made about Batman Eternal; it's chaotic, there's a lot of plots going in different directions at any one time and there's more filler than the teeth of a sugar addict following fourteen consecutive Halloweens. These complaints though, are best attributed to all DC weekly series and it seems a bit harsh to slag Batman Eternal for doing what series like 52 were already doing. That said, Batman Eternal's major selling point is that there's a lot of it- even if some of it isn't all that good, which is worrying considering how much they're asking for a trade paperback.
We currently have no idea what's happening here and we read
this scene twice!

So Forever Evil has just finished and Batman is back to his old games again- chasing criminals, recruiting minors to fight dangerous battles and trying his best not to refer to Alfred as "mummy" when a train accident finds Jim Gordon arrested for causing the death of hundreds. It's at this time when Gotham's criminals decide that when the cat's away (I'm not making a reference to Catwoman- she's in this one) the mice will.. well, start a massive gang war and cause death and destruction everywhere... y'know- typical mouse stuff.

This leave various Gotham heroes frantically running around the city to do typical hero stuff; Batgirl and Red Hood search for whoever set Jim Gordon up for a fall, Red Robin and Harper Row track a nanobot virus that's doing all sorts of evil things and Batwing joins up with the Spectre to set up Gotham at Midnight investigate strange going-ons at Arkham. This leaves Batman having to deal with the gang war and I have to say that it's cool to see old Bats with white-knuckles as he frantically rushes from one place to another to just barely avert disaster. You really get the impression here that he hasn't slept in days, which is great because I don't think we ever see the line "I haven't slept in days". It's show-don't-tell at it's finest.

Oh, and Stephanie Brown is in this one. Yep, that character that people demanded be brought back has indeed... come back. Honestly, that's all I can say about her at this point, because Batman Eternal seemed only interested in doing that with her character. She constantly pops up to remind us that she is indeed there and that DC are very sorry; please take them back, they love you and really that fling with the new readers didn't really mean anything! To say that she propels the plot forward in new and interesting ways is like saying Thomas the Tank Engine runs on Coca-Cola and Mentos; It's something we may really want to happen but when it comes down to it, we need to accept the fact that reality isn't going to pander to us in that way.

Weirdly, the most interesting plot seems to be that of Vicki Vale and new detective Jason Bard. There's a lot of solid detective work done by these two and seeing their relationship is absolutely the books sweet spot. There's enough space to argue that these two people matter more to the plot than any of the superhero characters combined. You know how people are all impressed that Batman's on the Justice League even though he has no powers? Vale and Bard, in this sense are Batman Eternal's Batman- no intense combat training (beyond what a cop can do), no high-tech gadgetry and yet they rattle cages like a blind parakeet on a sugar rush.
One day, I'm going to find whoever gave Red Hood's helmet
that stupid mouth and maim them.

With a book that has 13 artists, do I need to say that the art is a mixed bag? Or remind you of an idiom about too many cooks? None of this is to say that the art is bad for a weekly series (except for Ian Betram's, who makes every character look like they gained 20 kilos just for the issue and have blackheads all over their faces), But you're more likely to notice the change in artist than the change in writer. Otherwise, it looks how a Batman book should- dark, gritty, and intense as anything.

Now, as I mentioned, this is a 52-issue weekly series which means that the old weekly-series problems still apply (sing along if you know the words): Many issues feel like they're there to fill in gaps in the publishing schedule, there's no sense of a complete story arc in this volume, and too many things are happening at once. That's not a fault of Batman Eternal so much as it a fault of the weekly format; the book is very much a slave to its publishing schedule, so there isn't that feeling of tightness you get from an monthly ongoing. Batman Eternal does its best to still make those problems somewhat enjoyable, even if it can't negate them completely, but fair warning; I'm not anticipating a fully satisfying plot until the end of the series.

Thankfully, as I said, there's a lot of it, so you will be kept busy reading a series that is actually okay. Batman Eternal gets a three out of five Coca-Cola/Mentos-powered steam engines.

+ Chaotic in the best way.
+ Bard and Vale.
+ A lot of story.
+Stephanie Brown is in it...
-... but she's just "there".
- Not all art is good
- The usual weekly series problems.

Alternate Option: 52

Takes a MUCH broader swing at the DCU, even if the book itself isn't as good.

Fantastic Four Vol. 3: Doomed (Marvel NOW!) Review

It's... prophetic... I'll give it that.
Writer: Matt Fraction

Artists: Mark Bagely, Raffaele Ienco, Mark Famer and Joe Rubinstien.

Collects: Fantastic Four (2012) #9-16

Background Information:

For the last two volumes, the Fantastic Four have been trying to figure out what has been messing with their powers.

Oh yeah, it's been killing them, too.

Trying to find a way to fix their problem has involved them travelling through time and space because comics. The family have been to a lot of strange places and found out completely nothing.

Doesn't that just make you desperate for more?


I don't get it. I just don't get it.

I swear, you'd think Marvel were trying to
tell us something...
You ever read those books that has plenty of what you like and then ended up forgetting about it?

That's Doomed  in a nutshell. At face value, there's nothing to hate- there's even a lot to like- yet, somehow the whole thing is a bore. It's disappointing because as the final volume of Matt Fraction's run, this should have been the best book of the three-volume stint. As it is, it's only the second. It's better by far than Road Trip, but not as good as New Departures, New Arrivals.

So Reed Richards now has to fix his family's powers before everyone dies. On the side, Ben Grimm is worried that his actions resulted in Dr Doom existing, so he and Reed go back in time to witness the beginning of Marvel's greatest villain. There's also an alternate universe that's ruled by Kang the Conqueror, Annihilus and Doom himself, and that takes us to the book's climax. If that sounds overly complicated, it's because it is.

This is one of those volumes that was made after the series was cancelled and, like all comics that suffer the same fate, every remaining issue gets crammed into one volume that makes for a rather cluttered story. The result is that there's really too much here. Or at least it feels that way. Fraction somehow puts that much into a story without ever giving the feeling that something has actually happened.

I'll give it this, where Road Trip felt like nothing more than a transition point, Doomed actually feels like it's about something, but each part of Doomed feels like it's being squeezed out of a pipe (don't make that a poo joke... don't make it a poo joke... DAMMIT, you made it a poo joke). Each moment feels like Fraction was saying to himself "Just one more page, and then I can get back to writing Hawkeye, which I actually like doing" and because of this, I found myself checking how much more of the book I had to read before I could move on to something else.

And at this point, it really is hard for me to believe that Marvel didn't have a plan to destroy the Fantastic Four for no other reason than it couldn't make movies about them. Scream "conspiracy theorist" all you want, but at the end of the day, Matt Fraction is a far better writer than this. Like I said, his Hawkeye is proof enough of this. It really does seem like Marvel was telling him to make this book as boring as he could, and if that was the case, pat yourself on the back, Matty ol' boy because you certainly succeeded- even when you had a million and one exciting things going on, you still pushed out a stinker (you're making a poo joke again, aren't you?!).

Even the black suits didn't help...
The art is the strongest feature of this book. It's really the reverse of the writing. Where the writing had all the hallmarks of a great book and still failed to deliver, the art uses colours that usually would only go together if you wanted to incite madness and somehow still comes off as pretty pleasing. A large part of the credit goes to the pencillers Mark Bagley, Raffaele Ienco, Mark Farmer and Joe Rubinstein, who draw these incredibly exotic, out-there environments. Even so, colourists Paul Mounts and Guru-eFX (who must have drawn a LOT of sympathy out of the maternity ward for that name) need to be praised. Like I said, this book shouldn't look good, but it does, which makes all the more a pity that the writing is so bland!

I make it sound like I hated this book and I really didn't. The heart-felt epilogue issue at the end draws together both this and Fractions FF for a warm-and-fuzzy goodbye and I found myself treating it like a teacher does a naughty kid who give her a thank-you card at the end of the term. I was unimpressed by it's performance, but it left me feeling good at the end. It gets a two out of five poo jokes.

+ The end issue.
+ Art.
- Cluttered story...
- That feels like nothing is happening.